You are here because your relationship isn’t happy. It wants something. You want something. Your partner wants something. There is no shame in it. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong. Good for you for seeking assistance. Couples Coaching is a fantastic tool.
Relationships are constantly adjusting. Minor tweaks are fairly easy to keep up with. In my experience, big reinventions are poised to take place about every 10-year mark. There’s something about those anniversaries…. Sometimes we ignore the rumblings, shove our feelings under the rug and hope things will “get back to normal.” They rarely do, because they aren’t supposed to. Relationships grow and change just like everything else.
The ways relationships crash are the same, with little variety. And there are solutions for those. Today we have a lot of great relationship research to replace the trial and error practices of old. No more guessing. Just solid practices that work if you work them.
Your relationship system is an entity unto itself. It has its own needs, desires, goals, hopes and dreams. It has its own wisdom, and we can listen in. Your relationship will ask things of you. That is where our work comes in. Using a variety of cutting edge tools we seek to balance and expand your relationship so it can hold who the two of you are today. You’ve grown. Your relationship has to grow, too.
Relationship Systems Coaching (RSC) is different than just about any tool out there. RSC isn’t concerned with who did what to whom. Instead it asks, “What is wanting to happen?” It’s an entirely different question than the ones usually asked in couple’s work. And it leads to an entirely different answer.
With Relationship Systems Coaching there is a lot of room for exploration. You don’ t have to know if you want to stay together. We just start balancing things out, get honest, clean up some messes and eventually you will know if you want to be together, or get clear that it is time to end the relationship. It is a beautiful, conscious way to explore your relationship.
I made this shortish video to explain a few of the things we look at in Relationship Systems Coaching.
It takes skill to identify what is wanting to happen in your relationship. When you’re IN it, it’s hard to discern who is speaking. Is it you, your partner, the voices in your head, or the relationship itself? RSC cuts through all that, so you don’t waste a bunch of time making wrong turns, exploring dead ends and subjecting yourself to more heartache. Creating a good relationship challenges the best of us, especially at first while we are learning, But remember, if having a good relationship was easy, everyone would have one. A little en-courage-ment goes a long way.
I recommend starting with a Relationship Assessment.
After that, we can move you into pro-active, solution-oriented, and forward-moving, relationship coaching. Weekly if you’re in crisis, moving to every two weeks, once a month and then once every three months as you begin to have more skills on your own. Couples appreciate this progression—both because they still have this safe space to work things out, and also knowing they are building strength and skill to handle things on their own.