Jeannine Lee Apr 14, 2020
If we are older than about one day, we have lost love of some kind. Or at least it feels that way.
If you feel like you’ve lost love, and want it back, this article is for you.
Although I would have pushed back on anyone who tried to tell me this in the past, I have come to know that we cannot lose love.
Life events, upbringing, along with evidence we’ve gathered to the contrary, keeps us out of touch with the love we hold inside so (we think) we need another person to provide it for us. Not too long ago I was totally convinced that was true. If I was going to have love it had to come from “out of there” somewhere. I’m not the kind of person who looks for love around every corner. But I am the kind of person who says, “screw it” when I’ve looked for love out there only to find it in forms that weren’t good for me, or didn’t find it at all. Can you relate to either of those?
When someone we care about ignites the love inside us, it confirms what we already believe. The love “out there” is now “in here” and we feel great. We call it falling in love.When that person goes away it seems as though they take the love we need so desperately with them.We’re left emotionally bankrupt. That person can take away their personal touch—the manner in which they activated, touched, revealed, our own internal love, but they cannot take our love away. That love belongs to us alone. We’ve just had it backwards. I’ve had the love I hold inside activated by watching a touching commercial or video. I cry like a baby when I see someone being kind to others who are less fortunate. That love/compassion lives in me. The video did not give it to me.
I recently learned this from Marci Simoff. It is a simple exercise that brings us back to the love in our very own hearts. It only takes a few minutes.
In a still and quiet place, put your hand over your heart. Focusing there breathe into your heart. Feel it expand with each breath. In that expansion focus on something or someone for which you feel unconditional love. It could be a pet, a relative who has passed, or a dear friend or family member that you know today. Feel the love that you have for them right in your heart. When your heart feels full of the love that you have for them,let them gently fade out of the picture. You may want to set to them free riding skyward with a balloon, or see them fading into another room or to a place they love.
With that person out of the picture feel the love that remains in your heart. Did the love in your heart go away when you released your love object? No. It didn’t. It is still there. You are the source of your love, not anyone else. To complete this, as you continue to hold your heart with your hand, and feel the love within your heart, draw in love, ease, and compassion directly into your heart. Let it feed and expand the love that is already there. Stay there as long as you like and know that you can recreate that at any time.
It’s just been hiding in the place where you would least expect to find it—your own heart!
There’s no reason for you to stay desolate in love. There’s so much more possible for you. It all starts with the love you hold inside your own heart. You are a beautiful being and sooo worthy of love.
It can be hard to find the love in our heart on their own, especially if we are accustomed two looking for it outside of ourselves. We can go on that treasure hunt together. Let’s talk. Contact me here.